Happy Phriday
Quote I am considering.
“All the months are crude experiments, out of which the perfect September is made.” Virginia Woolf
Sammie’s Journal
I wrote the article below several years ago. I was reminded of it this week after a casual conversation with a total strange, an woman in her 80s, walking her little dog. We talked about how much we love our pets and the subject turned to losing a pet and how hard it is. Then she says, It’s not as hard as losing a child. She goes on to tell me about losing three of her children over the years. Tears welled up in her eyes. I said to her, I am going to give you a hug. She hugged back and held on for just a second after I let go. I don’t know how my hug helped but I know it did, just a little.
Be kind to the folks you stand next to in line.
I was out making sales calls. It was not going well. New prospects were saying no and hell no. A couple of our customers were not happy with us. A gate keeper with cat-eye glasses and a spider-webbed hairdo threatened to call the police if I did not leave the premises. Apparently, I did not see a "no soliciting" sign outside the door. My ink pen had leaked inside my pocket. A Rorschach test spread across my chest ruining one of my favorite shirts.
I was a little grouchy. And to top it all off, instead of going home after work and relaxing with a drink, I had a board meeting at a non-profit I work with.
The dark side of my mind said, just go home and have a cocktail.
But I didn't. I went to the board meeting. I sat chatting with the chair of the committee as we waited for the other members to show up. I asked about where she lived and asked what her husband did for a living. I immediately noticed something in her face. A dark cloud passing over. She said he was a carpenter or was a carpenter until his accident several months ago. I have talked with this woman many times over these many weeks, but she had mentioned nothing of what I was about to hear.
She told me a story about how her husband was in a new construction house and was pulling a door unit into place when he stepped backwards into an open stairwell, without stairs. He fell backwards and hit his head and face. He managed to get to his feet after the fall. He was fine, but other workers at the site noticed that things were not right, slurring words, confusion. They called 911. As it turns out, they just barely got him to the hospital in time. He had two separate bleeds in his brain. He was on a ventilator for a while; it was touch and go. He survived but now he is going through extensive rehab. She told me of all the hours spent at the hospital when she was not at work.
With sudden clarity I could see that She looked exhausted.
How is it that I have been working with her all this time and never caught on to the fact that she was under such stress? I was embarrassed at the tiny difficulties of my day. I was embarrassed at my grouchy mood.
Later, I stood in line at the liquor store with a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand. In line in front of me was an older man. He was wearing carpenter jeans, old running shoes and a flannel shirt and a ball cap. He was buying one of those big bottles of wine. He was deep in thought. The checkout dude said to him, “A great day to enjoy a glass of wine.” The old guy made a grunting noise. He looked at the liquor store dude as if he were the dumbest person on earth. When the old guy was outside of earshot the checkout guy said to me, “What's his problem?”
I wondered that too. As I drove home my inner monologue went something like this: Sammie you need to be kinder to people you meet. Your crappy days are relative to the great life you have. Did the people you encountered today on your sales calls put you into a crappy mood? Nope, you and only you can put yourself into a crappy mood. And maybe those people who crapped on your day were dealing with life challenges like the board member.
The truth is you really have had a good day and kindness matters.
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Mike’s Friday Funnies: Pictures
This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture. I told her that I am looking for matches. The police came to my front door tonight holding a picture of my wife. They said, "Is this your wife, sir?" Shocked, I answered, "Yes." They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus." I said, "I know, but she's a decent cook and has a good personality." I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without suspicion or hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it. My uncle was taking our picture at a dairy farm in Wisconsin when he was crushed by a giant wheel of cheese. We tried to warn him by hollering "cheese". Girls, if a guy remembers your birthday, saves all your pictures, knows all about your interests and what you enjoy, and understands everything about your family and friends: This guy is not your boyfriend. This guy is Mark Zuckerberg. A man sitting next to me on the bus today showed me a picture of his wife. He says to me "Isn't she beautiful"? I replied "If you think she's pretty, you should see my wife". He then asked "Oh, is your wife beautiful too"?, to which I replied "No, she's an optometrist". My friend is making easy money by selling pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes. It’s like shooting fish in apparel. An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are. The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans." The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British." The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have an apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They're clearly North Korean."
Book of the Week: On The Road, by Jack Kerouac
September 5th is the anniversary of the 1957 publication of “On The Road” by Jack Kerouac. I first read this book many years ago. I was in my twenties and had a job building tires. I knew very little about the book before I picked it up in a used book store. I took the book to work in my Playmate lunch pail. I read it during breaks sitting behind my tire building machine on the tread tray.
The prose grabbed my eyes balls. The style and pace smacked my face. The characters kicked me under the table and rolled up a doobie. I knew these people. Some were family members; some where people who lived down the road from us when I was a kid. I began to see Dean Moriarty’s face a in a hundred factory workers and I often felt like Sal Paradise. I thought, where in the hell has this book been all my life? Which is a funny to say when you are in your 20s.
GoodEnough & Book of the Week: “12 Trips in 12 Months”
In this episode, Mark and Sam talk with best selling author, Jen Ruiz. Jen Ruiz is a lawyer turned full-time travel blogger and author. She is a 3-time TEDx speaker, 6-time bestselling author, and multi award winning travel journalist. Jen has been featured in Forbes, The Washington Post, and ABC News and is the solo female traveler behind Jen on a Jet Plane. You can find her blog here:
Buy her book here:
Throat Punch Poetry: The Gallery Goes Silent
By S. Lewis
It's 9 a.m. The barmaid sets a sweaty mug of beer and a shot of Jack Daniels in front of him. He watches her ass as she move back down the bar. He kills the Jack right quick. Takes a sip of beer. Then he says to me. Sam, my life has been like a goddamn TV golf match. Whispering moron announcers all around me calling my shots. "What a drive off 18. Now, he has a 10 foot putt for an eagle. If he makes this he will be tied for the lead." I line up the putt and the gallery goes silent. I mean to tap the ball, just tap it. But I cannot control myself and I take a full swing. I blade it. The ball flies over the green into the sand trap as big as shit. And announcer shouts, "Oohh shitfuck, jeeezze did he fuck himself there. Oh my god did you all see that? Oh my god I have never seen anything like that. What a fucking disaster." Sam, are the people in the gallery are cringing? Hell no. They are bent over laughing. My caddy wont even stand on the green with me. He is standing on the fairway adjusting his nuts looking back towards the tee box. I am utterly alone. I'll buy the next round, I say. I guess I will have a drink at 9 a.m.
Moment of Zen
Speaking of pictures…
Your oldest picture is the youngest picture of you... ... and your youngest picture is the oldest picture of you.
"They might not need me"
by Emily Dickinson
They might not need me; but they might.
I'll let my head be just in sight;
A smile as small as mine might be
Precisely their necessity.